Life & Culture, Relationships & Friendships

Demanding Queen Treatment

Dating in our generation sucks.

At least for me, because Melissa is in a beautiful relationship with a guy that really cares about her. I’m happy that she’s found someone that treats her the way she deserves to be treated, but I haven’t had much luck in the romance department.

Despite being baeless, I try to appreciate the lessons that the guys I date can teach me. The most recent guy that I was seeing really taught me a lot in the short time that I’ve known him.

Retroactively looking at our situationship, I see how I approached it all wrong. At the beginning I told him that I was just looking for a friend. Which was half true. I do want my future guy to be a friend first, but I was lying to him and myself by saying that was all I was looking for. Sometimes we say things because we think that’s what the other person wants to hear, but that’s not being true to ourselves.

Fast-forward to a few months later, and I found myself arguing with this guy constantly about our views of dating and relationships. He said he loved the options of dating multiple people at once, which put a damper on my spirit since I’m more of a one-guy type of gal. That was a sign that this wasn’t meant to be, but I was stubborn and kept trying to make it work.

Until I realized that I didn’t want to casually date, I wanted to be courted. Courting is dating with a purpose. It’s when two hopeful lovebirds try to develop a relationship that’s pleasing and acceptable to God. It’s a decision to walk by faith and keep God at the center of your relationship so He can direct your path. I was familiar with the concept of courting before I met this young fellow, but I wasn’t true to what I wanted because I accepted his idea of dating just to keep him around. I thought that bringing up the concept of marriage would scare him away – which it did, but he clearly wasn’t right for me. While navigating my love life, I’ve learned it’s crucial to be honest with yourself and what you want out of the situation from the beginning.

I was venting to my mom recently about my dating frustrations, and she told me to teach men how I deserve to be treated. But before I can do that, I have to know what I want and how I want to be treated.

It’s so easy to get swept up by a cute, charismatic guy that always knows what to say to make you smile. But if that guy doesn’t have the same romantic goals as you, then it’s no point trying to make it work. Every guy that you date isn’t bae, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends. It’s just that you have to know your boundaries and what you will and will not accept.

We are Queens, and should be treated nothing less than that.

Your goal may not be to be courted, but be confident in whatever it is and have faith that God will give you what you want when the time is right. But until then, stay true to yourself and never settle because you deserve only Queen treatment.

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  • Reply Tierra Ridgeway

    The first step to a healthy growing relationship is becoming friends at first. This step may be the hardest step because you’re dealing with each other’s likes and dislikes plans goals and dreams. God makes no mistakes. He has already designed a man perfect for you. This is not your season so be patient and wait and this amazing guy will come out of nowhere when you least expect it. You will find everything you want in this guy that you didn’t get out of the others plus more..

    June 13, 2016 at 6:06 pm
    • Reply

      So true! Thanks for reading, Tierra!

      June 18, 2016 at 5:57 pm

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